Akihiko's Resolution
by A Writer Named Anna
Summary: Akihiko's visiting Shinji in the hospital and he realizes he's going to have to make some changes if he wants to move on.  Kind of a sequel to Too Little, Too Late  though you don't have to read it to know what's going on .  Some FeMC/Aki and FeMC/Shinji.


_**A/N:** _ This...was not supposed to exist. I can't stop thinking about P3P though. Ugh. I'm seriously obsessed. Yeah. So, uh, spoilers. This is just what I do when I can't play my PSP because I have to wait for a new charger. -dies- This is kind of a sequel to Too Little, Too Late, but you don't have to read it to know what's going on. And yeah. Crappy title because, well, I'm so uncreative.

_**Disclaimer: **_ I don't own it nor do I claim to. This was just written for fun.

**AKIHIKO'S RESOLUTION**

Never before in my life had so many different emotions welled up inside of me as I watched in horror my friend clutch his chest and topple over onto the ground. Once the shock subsided, it shames me to say that the first thing I noticed was the anger welling up inside of me-and it wasn't directed at Takaya, the one who shot him. It was directed towards Shinji himself. I was furious at him for doing such a foolish thing. I was angry at him because I was afraid he was going to leave me.

And I was mad that he was making her cry.

Shinji told me to take care of Ken. What could I say to that? He was acting like these were his last wishes. They couldn't be. I wouldn't let them be!

None the less I just hung my head. "I will," I said. I felt so pathetic right then.

He then turned his attention towards our leader, Minako, who simply stood there looking down at him. Her entire body was shaking from head to toe with her glistening eyes opened as wide as I'd ever seen them. Tears that she made absolutely no effort to hide were streaming down her face. The only thing I wanted to do was take her into my arms and assure her that everything would be okay.

That wasn't my job though. It was Shinji's. "Don't cry," he told her.

Minkao lifted a hand to brush the tears away from her face. Although the droplets were gone, that didn't cease fresh ones from falling down her cheeks to take their place. The girl I loved was in pain. My best friend, her lover, was dying. That feeling of hopelessness was beginning to drown me again as I was taken back to the past. I was a small child again standing in front of a burning building. There was nothing I could do then and there was nothing I could do now. Was there anything I could ever do?

"This is how it should be…"

What an idiot! Were those words supposed to be comforting to us? To her? Lifting my head I stared at Minako with an expression I'm not even sure what it was. Sympathy? Longing? More than anything I just wanted to reach out to her and touch her. She was already on her knees though, taking him into her arms, holding him close to her chest. Just like the other night I could see the determination in her eyes. She wasn't going to let him go.

I think that was the first time we'd ever seen our leader break down like that. It's also be the last.

Luckily Mitsuru, Fuuka, and Yukari were still under control. They were able to get Shinji safely to a hospital. He wasn't dead, but he couldn't breathe on his own. The doctors weren't sure if he'd ever be able to make a recovery. The only sign that he was still even alive was the sound of the machines whirling. Without those then he'd certainly be dead.

Hell. No one thought he was going to make it anyway.

The next day when I saw her in the hallway, I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital with me. I planned to skip the rest of the day to see him. I didn't let on that I knew about their potential relationship because I wasn't sure if they wanted anyone to know despite how obvious it was. For a moment she thought about it, her gaze slowly tilting down towards the floor. I wondered if she was going to cry again. Hesitantly I reached out a hand to comfort her, but when she lifted her head again I quickly withdrew it and waited patently for an answer.

Minako smiled up at me saying, "I don't think that's what he'd want me to do, Senpai." The answer surprised me. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she'd gotten to know Shinji within the month she'd known him better than I had during all those years. I watched as she turned away from me to continue walking down the hall. I didn't bother stopping her. She seemed confident in her decision. Who was I to try and convince her otherwise?

However she paused at a door before glancing back over her shoulder. "But please tell Senpai that I said hello and I hope he gets well soon. Tell him that I-," she stopped her words and licked her lips nervously like she'd almost let a secret slip. "Tell him that we all miss him."

With that she proceeded on down the hallway without another word.

Instead of going straight to the hospital, I went up to the roof of the school where Shinji used to hang out while skipping class with some ramen I'd gotten from Hagakure. Maybe that was my own little tribute to him. Minako seemed to be the only one to believe that he'd get better. Was that faith or foolishness? I rested my head in the palm of my hand. Even after thinking such a thing, I regretted it. I could never see her as foolish. She was the only one who believed in Shinji it seemed. He was my best friend and even I was lumped with the general consensus in thinking that he was already gone. He wasn't gone. He was still here. He was just sleeping.

Maybe that's why I was ashamed of myself when I arrived at the hospital. Not only could I not save him, but I'd already given up on him.

There was a sign on the door telling me to stay away. I scoffed and ignored it, pushing the door open and forcing myself into the room. I knew Shinji wouldn't mind. Okay. He probably would mind because I knew as well as anyone that he liked his privacy, but he could tough it up and deal with it.

"Yo," I said as I walked into the room. My hands were stuffed in my pockets as I looked at his pale body lying there. It almost looked lifeless. The colored drained from my own face for a second as I looked at him, but I remembered Minako. I remembered how she seemed positive that he'd pull through it. She had so much resolve. That's what I needed.

So I spoke to him like he was awake, even if he couldn't talk back to me. "You look pretty good," I lied. He looked like shit with all of those tubes hooked up to him. "How long are you gonna lie around sleeping there?"

No response. Not that that was surprising.

I kept going anyway. "I had the usual for lunch," I sighed. "Ramen tastes a lot better when you're cutting class," I laughed lightly. "Make sure you invite me next time."

He was as quiet as ever. Maybe it was because Minako had be convinced now that Shinji was fine that it was irritating me that he wasn't saying anything back. "Say something, will ya?" Quiet when he was conscious. Quiet when he was in a coma. "Why are you always like that?" He was always quiet. He was still quiet. "You're so stubborn."

Did Shinji even understand what I was going through? "Put yourself in my shoes for a change," I told him. I never knew my parents. I'd lost my sister. I'd lost the girl of my dreams. Now my best friend was close to dying on me too.

And he probably didn't give a damn. "You think it's the other way around, huh?" Lowering my eyes to the ground, I sighed. He was the one in the hospital bed. He was the one who was probably leaving Minako behind. Just when he'd found love, he'd lost it. He wouldn't be there to protect Ken. He was probably worried about me too even though I didn't need protection. "I guess you're right."

"It's kind of funny," I said with another awkward laugh. "I was too obsessed with power." It was true. "Ever since I lost Miki, that's all I've cared about." It was the only thing on my mind. I could just remember all the times that Minako walked up to me to try and have a normal conversation, but all I'd do was spout off some kind of nonsense about training or battle techniques and becoming stronger.

"I thought if I was strong enough that I could protect anyone." I thought I could protect Mitsuru, Yukari, and Fuuka. I thought I could protect Junpei, Koromaru, and Ken. I thought I could protect the two most important people in my life: Minako and Shinji.

"But I was wrong." I said quietly. My voice was wavering as I tried my best not to cry. "Now look at you! What am I supposed to do if I lose you too? Shinji…" Damn it. He still wasn't talking to me. I was practically begging him now. "Don't leave me behind!"

My knees became weak as I looked at my friend sleeping peacefully. Unable to keep my composure any longer, I collapsed on the side of his bed. My brain wasn't working as I shook his shoulders, ignoring the tubes and IVs coming out of his arms. "You can hear me, can't you?" I asked him. Coma patients could hear people speaking even if they couldn't respond, right? I'd always heard that. That's what they taught in school. I knew the asshole could hear me and he just wasn't responding. He was being difficult as always. "Wake up! Snap out of it! Shinji!"

And that's when I broke down.

I didn't like to cry. In fact I hated crying. Men shouldn't cry, but if I had a weakness then that was certainly it. Where as Shinji never cried, I tended to cry a bit too much. This was the most that I'd cried in a long time. It was probably the most I'd cried since Miki…

For hours I did nothing but sit there sobbing beside him. My friend was probably going to leave this world without me. He was probably going to join my sister. At least someone would be there to take care of her where I couldn't. How could he think this was for the best though? He was such a selfish bastard! Not only was he leaving me behind, but he was leaving Minako behind too!

That's when I heard it. Her voice echoing in my head.

_I don't think that's what he'd want me to do, Senpai._

And she was right. Lifting my head, I wiped away my tears. Shinji wouldn't want her to mourn after him or cry just like I was doing right now. He'd tell her to go on. Spend time with her friends. He'd want her to go on living a normal, happy life. That's probably what he wanted for me too. I was sitting here crying on his chest while he was probably thinking, '_What the hell are you doing, Aki? Suck it up! Go out there and protect her!'_

It took me a minute to stand. Where I'd been sitting in such an awkward position, I stumbled a bit as I tried to regain my balance. Finally I looked down at him and nodded my head, remembering what Minako had said to me and what Shinji would probably say if he could talk back. "Yeah, I know," I said, feeling ashamed that it'd taken me so long to realize my friend's wishes. Minako really was more in tune with him than I was. As much as I hated to admit it, maybe they really were meant for each other. "Crying won't change anything, will it?"

Then that's what I would do. I would stop crying. I would suck it up. Shinji would be okay. I wish I could say that I knew it because of my own strong connection to him, but I didn't. The only reason I knew it was because of the strong bond that Minako held with him. Because of her beliefs. If it hadn't been for her smiling face, I might not have realized it. "All right, Shinji," I said. "You watch from here. I still have things to do, right? "

There were so many things in my life that I'd been pushing off because I was afraid or guilty. That was why I pushed her away. That's why I stopped hanging around Minako. I was afraid of the feelings I was starting to feel for her. I was afraid to get close to anyone, because I didn't think I was strong enough to protect her. I didn't think I was strong enough to save her if anything were to happen. I was guilty because there was nothing I could do to save Miki…or Ken's mother. Even seeing Shinji shot made me feel worthless.

"I know this much," I said. Maybe I shouldn't keep pushing people away. Maybe I should her in…just like Shinji had let her in. "I can't keep carrying this guilt forever. I'm getting tired of it. I didn't know it at the time, but its been keeping me from getting something that I really want."

Something inside of me changed just then, almost like a surge of power rising up from deep inside of me. Turning my head I looked over at Shinji who was lying motionless in the bed with his eyes firmly closed. Even though he wasn't saying anything, I could feel that he was the cause. It felt like he was giving me a part of his power. Was he giving me permission to look after her?

"I will," I assured him with fierce determination. "I'll look after her. I'll make sure that she's safe." Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn I saw his mouth twitch slightly upwards into a smile for a brief second before I walked out of the room.

Maybe that's just what I wanted to see though.


End file.
